- The Psychology of Failure
Most of us have failed at one thing or another; you organize an event and nobody shows up, you start up a sales joint and nobody buys, you do all you can and still nothing happens. It’s common for most startup businesses and if you are one of them and thought something was wrong with you, well unless something really is wrong, chances are those are the roadblocks you will have to encounter on your journey to prominence.
If you give up simply because you failed once or twice, then what you were after wasn’t worth anything to begin with.
To fail doesn’t make you a looser. You are not a failure simply because you fell. You become a failure when you let your fear of falling again keep you from rising up and trying again. Failure isn’t a bad thing as most of us have been thought. It simply means you did something the wrong way and should change it. It is not fatal or final, it is a process and it too shall pass, provided you do not give up or take it the wrong way.
Those who made landmark strides in the course of time failed several times too. Thomas Edison failed many times than he would care to admit, in his quest to provide an alternate lighting source for the world. Albert Einstein failed many times too, Donald Trump has made a couple of failed runs in real estate, Graham Bell, Henry Ford, and the list continues. Most thriving businesses today didn’t perform as well as they thought they would on their first attempts. But in the end, none of these people gave up and if you would ask them, they would tell you failing only served as motivation to want to succeed. And did they succeed? You bet they did and are still in the halls of fame today. all failure did was take them back to the drawing board to effect a few changes; changes that ended up making all the difference.
Failure narrows your error margin. Failing once, makes you know what to avoid the next time you try again.
Don’t give up simply because you failed. Change your strategy and try again. If anything, failure and challenges leave you better off than you were before they came. They narrow your error margin and reduce your chances of making the mistake that led to them in the first place. Refuse to give up and stay in it – as long as it is something you believe in – until you win. There is a success for every failed attempt, a throne room after every prison room, just don’t quit before you get there. Don’t let a onetime experience define your reality. Things can be different, if you will approach them differently. When you get knocked down, remember that you have failed only if you stay down. Get back up, change something and try again.
Failure is not fatal; how you react to it is what matters.
- The Psychology of Challenges
Like failure, challenges, to a greater extent, are a vital part of life and more importantly. Anytime you try something new; something you have never done before expect a new challenge. It is commonly said that every new level brings a new devil. Does this mean challenges are bad? No, they aren’t. In fact they are an asset.
Tough times need to come in order to prepare you for what is ahead. If you face no challenges while starting something new, chances are it won’t last long. Take for example this blog; while in the creation process, the developer started making requests about things he needed, which I had no clue as to how I was going to get them. It almost made me panic and fret, but I told myself, if there is a problem, there is a solution and ignoring my worries, I went out in search for the solution.
Challenges are the molders of character, perseverance and the principal agents for a change of level.
Most people, as a way to deal with problems, failure and challenges, have resulted to worry, panic, fear, anxiety, frustration and discouragement, but there is a more excellent way to go about your challenges, the way of peace, which recognizes the fact that if there is a challenge or a problem, there is a solution. Fear and all other negative emotions only serve to cloud your mind, preventing you from thinking straight, while a calm mind opens the door to endless possibilities and solutions. That solution can only be found in peace and quiet. If you are anxious, you might miss it and that will only lead to more fear, panic and worry.
Anytime a challenging situation comes my way, I refuse to panic or be worried, but tell myself there is a solution and I set out to find it. Remember that whatever is happening to you has happened before to someone else and if they handled it properly, you can do it too. No one is smarter than you are. They, at their current level, just have more knowledge or experience than you do.
Taking hold of the words of Winston Churchill; “Every adversity carries with it and equal or even greater opportunity”, I try to find the opportunity in that adversity or challenge, refusing to get anxious while doing so.
Challenges are not bad. As a matter of fact, they are good for you. They constitute the refining process that ends up exposing your real beauty. Once you overcome them, you become better in all aspects. See them that way and you will learn more and make more from them than you already have. Instead of giving up due to a challenge, challenge yourself to find a suitable solution. I can assure you that the answer you are looking for is well in sight. If you will just orientate your thoughts, words and manner of approach, from ‘I can’t’, or, ‘it’s not possible’, to ‘how can I go about it’, you will notice considerable changes.
- The Psychology of Criticisms
People react to criticism in different ways, but one thing I have learnt in life is not to let the opinions of others choke my dream and passions. Some may criticize positively while others may do so out of a mere desire to see you fail or get hurt, but in the end, you only fail if you take their words for the truth and give up. Even if I were to fail, I would rather try and fail than fail to try because of what someone told me. And remember that the fact that you failed doesn’t mean you took the wrong path. Sometimes falling only gets us prepared so we can identify potholes in the future.
Like all the other points, let criticism fuel your zeal to achieve your goal rather than make you cave in. you owe it to yourself and no one else to succeed.
That you failed doesn’t mean you are on the wrong path. In order to us to appreciate the success, falling becomes a prerequisite.
If someone tells you your product is not the best instead of giving up take their advice and seek ways to improve it. Whoever started out with the perfect product? Show me such a person and I will show you someone who didn’t last long in whatever he did. They all started at some point and got better with time. Criticism is what you make it to be. You could let it discourage you so you sulk on it all day or let it challenge you to come up with something better. Expect to be criticized. I would even worry if no one criticized me, because it would likely mean I am not doing anything special or new. However, rather than let it bring down my self-esteem, I will use it as a reason to be better.
Understand that it is human nature to criticize. Unfortunately we have been taught to take criticism for its worst. Choose to see it differently. Someone tells you your product is not good, work on it. If they don’t like something about you, improve on it and make sure it gets up to standard. Just don’t let criticism drive you indoors.
- The Psychology of Mistakes
We all make mistakes, some more aggravating than others. Mistakes are a part of life, but how you approach a mistake can either encourage you to move on or keep you in the confines of the mistake committed. When you were a child and you made a mistake, how did you feel? Most of us felt bad for a moment, but after being told by our loved ones that it was okay and a human thing to make mistakes, we went right back to the things we did wrongly the first time, only that this time we knew better. You see, immediately we learnt the lessons, our joy and enthusiasm were again rekindled and as before, we rushed out to do something crazy. Some of you may be saying that was in the past and you were young by then, but what is the essence of going to elementary school if all you learnt was eventually going to be discarded?
I believe that the way we lived as children is the way God wants us to live as adults only with a change in attitude as we mature. If it was okay then, he wants us to know it is okay now.
Many, because of one mistake they committed have given up on life, on their dreams, ideas, goals and their passions. Many after making financial mistakes back out completely from investing or trying something new – they give up on their businesses. But is that they right way to deal with a mistake? I don’t think so.
I have made my fair share of mistakes, financially, in decision making and idea execution. I have done things I spent weeks regretting I did them, but in the end I found out that that was not the way out. If you keep holding on to some error you committed in the past, opportunities will pass you by in the present. Instead of biting up yourself for a mistake you made, understand the true purpose of that mistake and you will react to it differently.
Now, anytime I make a mistake, I quickly analyze it; explore the alternatives I could have taken, and resolve to do just that anytime a similar situation comes up.
Once you discover you made a mistake, rather than panic about something you can do little or nothing to change, go over the whole scene and find out what you did wrong. When you do that, equally find out what the proper course of action should have been. Once you get these settled, decide that if such a thing were to happen again, you were going to do it the proper way.
Understand that most mistakes are going to be irreversible, but not fatal. You may lose some money today, but the lesson you learn from it will keep you from losing millions tomorrow. You might take a wrong course of action today and lose some resources in the process, but I believe if you approach that mistake objectively, you will learn lessons that will keep you from making worse mistakes in the future.
I believe everything happens for a reason, to teach and not to kill us, to correct and not to condemn us, to better prepare and not destroy us.
No matter the mistake you made or what you lost in the process always remember that knowledge is priceless and that resources lost can always be reproduced with diligent application to industry. The lesson you learn after losing 100,000 FRS will keep you from losing 10 million sometime in the future.
Like failure, mistakes minimize your error margin, narrowing your possibilities of making more costly mistakes in the future.
Just because you made a mistake in one deal doesn’t mean all deals are bad. Your mistake was simply a lesson to help you better locate great deals in the future.
Mistakes are priceless jewels requiring that we lose something small in the process for something great in return, but always remember that those who dwell on their mistakes never learn and when you never learn, you never will move on, or try something new.
Psychological truths always have an up and a down side, but nothing is ever defined. You are the one who defines these truths. Stop looking at them to be bad and start going in for the priceless gems they offer. Once you learn to see the good in all these instances, your journey through life, will be less bumpy and more of fun, I can assure you.