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Charlie Carver came out as gay in 2016. The actor was aware of his differences from his twin brother, Max Carver, from an early age, but he didn’t come out until he was in his late teens.
The Teen Wolf star later revealed that his late father’s sexuality had made it challenging for him to come out.
Charlie Carver’s Father’s Gayness Complicated the Situation
Growing up with his twin brother, Carver always felt something was not matching up between them. He loved to put on makeup and play dress-up with his mom’s clothing and accessories while his brother didn’t.
“At a certain age I started to realize how him and I are different and I wasn’t able to really put a finger on it because the language wasn’t available yet,” the actor recalled to People in 2018.
And when he was finally started figuring out his sexuality, his parents divorced; his father came out as gay. He was only 12, and it made him realize that his dad’s coming out hurt his mom.
As a result, Carver tried to reinvent himself. He came up with a fake persona and tried to be as masculine as possible; he only wore sports jerseys and focuses on memorizing stats. But his genuine self couldn’t be dominated.
After a year of struggle, he came out as gay to his dad and his brother. It turned out that both of them already knew and were supportive.
Then, it was time to tell his mom. It scared him to reveal his sexuality to his mother, since she had suffered from the scar before. “The tricky one was my mom because of the hurt she experienced in the divorce,” he said. “I didn’t want to re-injure her.”
His trepidations vanished when his mom told him she already knew and was instead sad that he hadn’t told her earlier.
Although his coming out went more smoothly than he thought, Carver had first despised his father for coming out.
In an interview with Attitude, he said that it was “just something where I wanted to be able to define myself, set my own rules, and I felt like I had all of a sudden someone who I was gonna be forced to become, and I didn’t wanna be like him.”
Charlie Carver attending Tony Awards in 2019. (Source: Charlie Carver /Instagram)
The actor then remarked that his father’s honesty eventually assisted him in accepting his own sexuality. “I think he taught me, in the way that he lived his life, that your sexuality doesn’t define you.”
The Desperate Housewives star added his identity was a crucial component of who he was, and yet he lived such a full life. He believed it was because he was annoyed by his own “internalized shame.”
Charlie Carver’s Coming Out Story
In January 2016, Carver penned a touching essay on his Instagram account and came out as gay. He revealed he has been rigid about keeping his private and professional lives separate despite spending years coming to terms with his sexuality.
He added he always knew he wanted to be an actor from a young age. And it was around the same moment he realized he differed from the other boys in his class.
“Over time, this abstract ‘knowing’ grew and articulated itself through a painful gestation marked by feelings of despair and alienation, ending in a climax of saying three words out loud: ‘I am gay,'” he confessed.
Carver also hoped his story would serve meaningfully to other young individuals who fear their sexual identity and motivate them.
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